I wasn’t sure how this year was going to feel, this will be the 5th one without my mum.
Triggers are everywhere, and either creep up unconsciously or we can feel it before the event has arrived. Easter was a big event for my mum, she celebrated it more than Christmas and each year I put the pressure on myself of how I’d like it to be, but what I realised very quickly was how little control I have.
My emotions were all over the place this year, I had a mix of so many, but what I did get this year was special moments that carried me through. I went out and celebrated my mum with my friends, we laughed so much. Easter Sunday, we ate her favourite Sunday lunch, and Monday we visited a lovely farm park as a family, reminiscing on the way and made some more memories for us all.
Grief is a very unpredictable thing, it’s filled with both happiness and sadness at the same time, it comes in waves and whilst all of these emotions are going on, I reflected on what an amazing mum I had for 43 years of my life.
“Grief is love with nowhere to go”, we never stop loving those we lost, so finding a way to live with it, as part of us , and meeting Grief when it needs to be met.